My take on the “E” word

So if you read Joe’s blog, which is the point of me having this one, you know what “The E Word” means.  Check it out here: http://sandboxadventures.wordpress.com/2008/07/23/the-e-word/

Anyway,  as he says, I was pretty much expecting it, so the official “unofficial” news was disheartening, but no shocker.  The funny thing is what I was praying about this morning.  In an email to Joe I explained my feelings, so to save typing, I will quote it here:

“I am disappointed you won’t be home as thought, but I know God has a plan for us still.  I was praying for you this morning minutes before you called.  I asked God to reward you for your faithfulness to the army.  Knowing that our rewards are in heaven, but also claiming that like with a marriage, He doesn’t want faithfulness to be rewarded with deadpan, lifeless, unfruitful marriage.  So I asked Him to put you in a job where you felt a part of what is going on, rewarded for the effort you put in to it, where results are seen.  Not hidden away in a trailor type office that no one could find on Bragg.  So it looks like He answered my prayer.  How can I argue with that?  It will all work out for the good to us for Him.  Pastor Jeff said that he believes God allows pain and suffering to occur so He will get the glory.  I don’t call this pain and suffering (most of the time) but I do want Him to get the glory.  I also pray that the time extension allows Him to continue whatever work He wants to accomplish in this separation.  That we will be moldable and useful to Him.” 

So that is what I really think about the “E” word.  Today.  Ask me again when the day he was supposed to be home comes and goes; when the children are misbehaving and I need Daddy to take over; nights when I go to bed and it really hits me that he is not next to me; when the children celebrate milestones such as potty training, starting homeschool-kindergarten; when we do ordinary every day things that I just genuinely miss his company. 

I really, really love our Lord and I know and hold onto the fact that these days too shall pass, it isn’t that long in the vapor that we are living, and I really look forward to seeing His work in both of us upon our reunion. 

Lord, hear these words and know my heart, as I call out to You and look to You for comfort and guidance and strength.  Help me not to complain.  Show me how You want to use me.